By 1997 I had joined an online Trivia site, and met a woman who was there. She lived in Wyoming. We chatted often, after playing ‘Cosmo’s Conundrum’ – a game no longer in existence at Uproar Games – and I fell in love with her. Mind you, without ever having laid eyes on her. So it can happen! And yes, I am quite shallow, but she was something special!
While chatting and surfing with her – nice to do with someone far away! – she sent me to a page with a short story she liked. It was “A Rose For Emily” by William Faulkner.
I liked the short story, but was intrigued by one of those banner ads on the page. It advertised a free writing course. Something called “F2K”. Well, that sparked something, brought something to life, so I surfed over and signed up. I went through a session – 7 weeks – of F2K and liked it, and joined WVU, its parent organization. Heck, it was just for one year, so it’s not like I signed my life away. Besides I had money then. *sigh* Yes, I did, then. And I was thinking, quietly, that maybe these folks would show me how to get published.
So, I joined a Study Group or two, posted parts of chapters, gave feedback to the other writers, and generally had fun. I managed to get a few short stories published – and paid for! – and started work on a few projects that I eventually abandoned. And Time, of course, passed.
My Dear Lady agreed to move down here, so I paid to first move myself – from a small one-bedroom! – bought a plane ticket to the north, and moved her on down. An expensive, love-filled adventure! And I was madly, deeply in love. Within a few months I had lost my decent-paying job, and had scrambled to find a carpet cleaning job that paid less than half what I had been making, and ate up 10+ hours a day, six days each week. It exhausted me, frankly.
By the time we experienced the Four Hurricanes in late summer of 2004, she was tired of the lack of money, and my seeming inability to look for better jobs. And she left. Much as it hurt/hurts … I can’t blame her. I told her I’d take care of her, and in the end I could barely take care of myself.
By the following April my car had been repossessed, the phone – and dial-up – had been shut off, and I was barely hanging on. Writing was just another dead dream at that point. I was now working at Wal-Mart, had saved enough to buy a bike, so I could ride to work, and was on the trail of a cheap truck. Eventually I was able, with some help, to get the phone back, and with it the Internet.
May saw me wake early one morning and go through the submission Guidelines of ePress. Well, what the heck, right? I was going nowhere, I had nothing ahead of me, so why not take the plunge again? So I pulled out the manuscript, made sure it fit the guidelines, and emailed it. I related that tale here, so I won’t bore you with the story again.
After nine years, and a lot of crap in between, my manuscript began the publishing journey. Nine years! Now do you see what I meant in the previous post? Why did I want to go through that again?
I had a nice short-ish tale in the SF genre. Might make a decent novel. Might! But do I want to write something as involved as “Dune”? I just don’t know. So, can I sit my arse down and do what my head tells me to do? Write down the dialogue I hear, describe the scenes I can see? Do I?
Gotta say, it still scares me, just as “Benning’s War” scared me when I began it in 1996.
*sigh*
Yeah, I know I will, too. But I don’t wanna!
Wow! I can identify with a lot of what you have been through especially the lack of money part. I am reminded of a scene from the movie, “Josie Wales” starring Clint Eastwood. Just before the head for Mexico the Indian tells the story of how all the chiefs went to Washington D.C. and the President told them all to, “…endeavor to persevere”. He finished his story with, “…then we declared war on the white man”. Endeavor to persevere sound like important words but they only mean hang in there. Talk to you soon, benning.
Scott
Hey Benning,
At least you went through the process of getting your novel done. How many people write their “breakthrough” novel to only let it sit in their drawer and NEVER try to publish it.
When I was in high school (early 80’s), my English teacher felt that I had the ability to be a writer. Ha, I thought. He would read my essays to the class and I would get snears from my classmates. I loved writing, but NEVER considered a writing life.
As years passed and family commitments engulfed my every waking hours, I decided one day last year to get back into writing. My wife was ecstatic, thinking I would write her the love letters that made her “quiver” each time she read them.
At first she was disappointed with the idea of sharing my writing with the world. Now since F2K, she has read my contributions and shakes her head in amazement at how good they are. (I’m remaining humble. She has been my number one cheerleader for over 20 years.)
I have several short stories in rough draft that I can now rewrite and rewrite till polished and submit for publication. I have one novel on the go with another being developed on the side. Will they remain in my drawer? Nope. With the encouragement of my teenage kids and my wife; the building blocks developed through F2K; and enrolling in WVU, I see myself not writing as a hobbie, but as a career.
Will I have the “breakthrough” novel that will make me millions and land me on the best seller list? Who cares! I’ve never been one for fame and glory anyways. Just to share my prose with people, and get paid for it, is enough for me.
Also. I know what it’s like to go without. I started my family making seven bucks an hour. I’ve had my phone cut off and nasty letters mailed to me. It’s hardships like these that build character and strengthen relationships. I’m sorry that that woman walked out on you when the going got rough. It’s obvious she’s not the one for you, then. Your a good guy, the right one will come along, eventually.
One more ramble. I’m a history buff as well. Last autumn I did a study on the War of 1812. Living in southern Ontario gives me the opportunity to visit the battle sites and the forts that were involved in the war. The feeling you get is incredible. Standing on the very ground that hundreds of men gave up their lives for to protect MY country gives me a new respect for something that happened with virtually little acknowledgement by todays society.
I wish you great success in your future writing endeavours. Who knows, maybe I will see your name on the national best sellers list.
Till next time,
Mike D.